Tuesday, April 29, 2014

The End

So this is it. I'm sitting in Dublin airport waiting for a flight to Philadelphia and then it's on to San Francisco. I'm running on no sleep, so that made the baggage snafu extra fun. I checked two bags and had to pay for the second one, but my card didn't work, and I didn't have enough dollars and they didn't take euro, so I had to go exchange money and then when I was back at the desk the receipt wouldn't print.

Anyway, I'm through security and US preclearence now.

I feel kinda weird though. I'm not excited like I normally am, but I'm not as upset as one would expect. I dunno, I feel sort of...meh? Which is odd because I don't want to live here, I'm totally looking forward to being back in California, and hopefully back to work soon. But. Maybe it's because I'm so tired, but I can't properly articulate this feeling.

As far as the "college experience" goes it wasn't what I was expecting, but a lot of that falls on my shoulders. But there are certain things I wouldn't trade for the world. I loved living with my grandparents, and I'll be forever grateful to them for putting up with me these last three years.

I feel like I should probably write more, but I don't know what else to say. What do you say when it's time to start a new chapter of your life? And it's only three years since I closed the last chapter. I don't feel like a different person, I don't think I am a different person? I don't know. Life is weird, just roll with it and try to make the best of your chapters because before you know it, it'll be over. Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end.

So I think I'll say goodbye. It's been real.


Saturday, April 5, 2014

its bout to get real

The history conference was yesterday. Everyone in the single honors history class presents a section of their dissertation. It was a long day with 17 people all having a 20 minute presentation, but it went well. But now the only assignment I have to worry about it the dissertation itself. Its due in 19 days. I have just under 5,000 words left to write. I'm not worried, its just a matter of sitting down and getting it done. But wow. Its almost over. I actually have to start thinking about packing and stuff now.

In other news, spring has really sprung. The daffodils are out in droves now and the tulips are appearing, its all very pleasant. Spring is probably the best season in which to visit Ireland. (is that a real sentence? it sounds right, but also not) You get the rain, but some nice days too and its not too cold. All good things in my opinion.

Anyway, this blog will be coming to a close soon. I thought about keeping it going, but I'm not going to be a Californian in Ireland anymore (tbh i don't even know where i'm going to be this time next year, but it won't be here). And, as is quite clear, I'm not very good at keeping up with it (sorry)

Monday, March 10, 2014

What do you miss?

Its a question almost everyone asks me when they find out I'm from California. It usually comes right after, "why did you leave?!"

I get the question so often my responses are automatic now. Much like my answers to "so what colleges did you apply for?" and "what are you going to do after college?" It'd be nice if people (mainly adults) stopped asking teenagers/college students questions that only revolve around our academic career, and how we are going to make money after we're done. We spend so many hours worrying over shit like that, and answering the same question 20 times at every family function we attend gets old really quickly.

But I'm getting away from my main point of this entry. Everyone asks me what I miss about California. Well lately I've been thinking about what I'll miss about Ireland when I leave.

I'll miss the rain, the days where theres no drama in the weather, its just still while the rain quietly falls against the ground.
I'll miss my room, evidence of my last 3 years adorning the walls, my window that looks out west to the hills and sunsets.
I'll miss my grandparents, their daily routines and habits.
I'll miss my life here.

Of course there are things I won't miss, but thats not important right now. Because eventually those things will fade. And there are inconsequential things I'll miss, a certain brand of shampoo or a type of food, but they will be replaced by something new when I move somewhere else. But those for things listed above, those are unique to my experiences living in Ireland these past three years.

And soon I'll have another list of things that I would miss if I left. Every experience we have comes with things we will miss or be happy to forget. Thats life. There are things I wish I could change or do differently, but it doesn't work that way. So instead, I'll focus on that list above, and be thankful for my time here.

Friday, February 14, 2014

Another List

So my time as a Californian in Ireland is rapidly coming to a close, and I feel really bad that I've been neglecting this blog, it started out so well then went downhill quite rapidly. Apologies.

I've been thinking a lot about travel lately (and anything else that isn't my dissertation). Which brings me to the list you were promised in the title. In no particular order:

Top 5 Places I Want To Go

  1. New Zealand 
  2. Vancouver, British Columbia
  3. Denali, Alaska
  4. Yellowstone, Idaho, Montana, Wyoming
  5. Prince Edward Island
I also want to spend more time in Yosemite and Tahoe, I'd like to explore them more. Especially Yosemite, I love it there. 

Augh my sleep schedule is so fucked. I have so few classes, so I don't have much cause to get up at a reasonable hour, except on Thursdays. I'm pretty good at getting up when I have to, for class, flights, appointments, etc. But if I don't have to get up, chances are its gonna take me a while to drag myself out of bed. Ironically, I have much better sleeping habits during the summer when I'm working. 

Speaking of things that are fucked, what the hell is this weather? Yesterday, it was so windy it took me longer to walk home. Luckily we haven't had any flooding here, but its really bad in some parts of the country. Meanwhile in California....the worst drought of a century. And Australia is on fire (again). You know, on their charts that say what the fire danger is on a given day they have a section thats worse than 'extreme'. It can go all the way up to 'catastrophic'. Australia may very well be the most dangerous place on Earth. She'll kill you if you look at her funny. Snakes, bugs, crocodiles, sharks, weather so hot they had to put a new color on heat maps. And yet, I'd like to go there someday. 

Its raining again. 
Single or otherwise, I hope you had a nice Valentines Day :)

Music for your ears: Free by Rudimental Feat. Emeli Sandé

Tuesday, February 4, 2014

Its Almost Over

This is my last semester as an undergraduate (if all goes according to plan, omg don't jinx it). Holy shit. Its so weird. I've always been in school, I don't remember life before student-hood. Its always been one grade after another, one school after another. And now, all of a sudden, its going to be over. Well, over for a while anyway, I haven't decided about a Master's Degree yet. Its definitely not going to be the the 2014-2015 academic year, but maybe the year after. I'm thinking about University of British Columbia. To be honest, I haven't put any real research into it-- costs, visa etc. But it would be nice to go somewhere new.

Its almost time to start going through all my stuff and decide whats going to be moved back to California, whats going to be donated, and what needs to be thrown away.

AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH what the hell, who thought allowing me into adulthood would be a good idea. Whoever you are, you are sorely mistaken.


On the one hand, its nice to be experience winter again, but wind >:C yuck.
Sorry for this mess of a post, but I figured I should write something, its been so long.
Music to put in your ears, Defying Gravity sung by Kerry Ellis, but produced by Brian May (yes, that Brian May)

Saturday, December 14, 2013

Internet Privacy

Everyone tells you not to put your information on the internet, but it manages to get on there anyway. I just found out about this website http://www.spokeo.com its a very thorough online phonebook. For a few dollars a month, it gives users access to anyone's information: email address, phone number, current and previous address etc. You can buy access to anyone's information without their knowledge. How creepy is that. (right now, this only applies to the United States)

So here's a video on how to remove your information from the site 
*disapproving turtle face*

Friday, December 6, 2013

Death. A common occurrence, it'll happen to everyone you know, and some day, it'll happen to you.
We have conventions for dealing with death, what you say, what you say to those affected. How you respond when someone tells you their elderly relative died. And then there's the people taken before their time, soldiers who die in action, teenagers in car crashes, parents house fires. Somehow you know what to say.

What do you do when a person takes themselves out of the world? How do you come to terms when someone is gone without an explanation? When it hits you like a freight train right out of left field?

I don't know the answer. And I don't think anyone does.

But please, please don't forget that there is help. You are not alone. It may look dark now, the deepest darkness you've ever seen. But please remember its a permanent solution to a temporary problem. And there are people who will help you out of the darkness. You are important.


Tuesday, November 19, 2013


Okay so first things first.
Reasons for my latest prolonged absence. A few hours after I posted on Oct 10, my computer broke. The hard drive just ran away to the circus or wherever it is that little hard drives run away to. Maybe it was stolen by goblins. That was 5 weeks ago. I haven't had use of my own computer in 5 weeks. Thank the tech gods that I convinced myself to buy an iPad during the summer.

Last full week in Ireland before 8 weeks in California. I've got 2 essays to finish between now and then, a 4000 word monster on revisionist history and a 2500 word proposal for my thesis. You know, I managed to pick the only subject in the arts department that requires a thesis. Typical.

At the moment I'm being attacked by allergies. Its 7pm. This sucks.
I had this whole thoughtful post about books and story lines planned out, but now my brain has turned to mush. Which is merely inconvenient for blogging, is actually disastrous for essay writing. Thinking about historiography and methods of history is bad enough when your brain is not wandering around in a daze.

Today it was so cold, my legs actually hurt while I was walking home. Pretty sure if I looked outside right now, things would be starting to frost over all ready. I just checked the Svale weather. Theres nearly a 25F difference. Its shit like this that makes people ask me why I left. I think it actually snowed in Scotland last night though.

The Black Friday emails have already started. Actually, this morning I had to explain Thanksgiving/Black Friday to someone. Its only when you have to explain things that you realize how weird they really are. I mean, I know Black Friday is pretty extreme, people sitting out in the cold for hours and hours, also the stampedes and injuries that happen. But its only when you watch the expression of someone who's never heard of such a thing.

Thanksgiving is a pretty big thing, Canadians have their version, but theres no comparison in Ireland. But its also the little things. Like a few weeks ago, I was asked if Americans say "quarter/half to/past" when talking about the time. Its not totally uncommon, and I'm sure most rational beings would understand if someone answered their question of  "do you know what time it is?" with "sure, its a quarter past". But I explained that most Americans would use the numerical answer: 1:45 or 6:15 or whatever. Well, that was a tangent I was not expecting.

For your listening pleasure: Burn by Ellie Goulding

Thursday, October 10, 2013

October 10 ramblings

Wow a month since I last wrote anything. Well, that's not exactly true. I wrote a draft about my issues with iOS 7, but I figured the internet had seen enough about the apple update to last a lifetime, so I scrapped it. (Long term typing on an iPad is not an enjoyable experience btw)

Anyway, so what should I talk about? To be perfectly honest I have no idea. 

I've been watching a lot of episodes from The West Wing lately. I really like it, the characters are well written ands I think they do a good job of explaining the goings on of the executive branch. I've got just over 2 seasons left. Then I'm going to have to find another show to procrastinate with. 

Speaking of procrastination, I got an essay due next week. It's only 1500 words and I'm really not that worried about it. I have to present an opinion on the documents I read about 1920s soviet film. Compared to the collective 22500 words I'm going to have to write by the end of the semester for all of my classes, this is small potatoes (that's a phrase right?) 

Right now I'm sitting in the student center (which won some architectural award during the summer) near the pool, and wow it's been a really long time since I've been swimming. Over a year? And since I've actually done laps? .... omg high school....

I got something in my eye last night, I'm pretty sure I didn't get all of it out. And my eye is kinda bloodshot from all the rubbing, the lid is also twitching slightly (sorry if tmi). I'm hoping people think I've got a bad contact lens or something, and not a drug problem. This means that I'm wearing my glasses, which is not something I usually do at school because they're for reading only, so I can't see anything past the length of my arm. 

Still have an hour until my next class. Debates in History, what a colossal waste of time. Especially for the students in single subject history. We've been taking classes on historiography since first year. 

Today is the first day it felt like fall, weather-wise anyway. It was like 37° when I left the house. 

Well, I've out of things to say, no existential theories today readers

Music for your ears: 
 99 Problems by Hugo 

Sorry it's just a link, I can't embed the video from my iPad 

Tuesday, September 10, 2013

The last first day

So yesterday was potentially my last first day of school. I currently have no immediate plans for a masters, and if I pass this year, it'll be off to the real world I go. *deep breaths* Ay dios mio. Am I qualified for this? It's frightening, but in a good way. I'm excited to live on my own where I get to choose the decor and what happens for dinner and decree that there be no Big Brother  being watched on TV. But also ~responsibility~ bills etc. oh gosh. Maybe it's time to stop thinking about this for a while. 

I've got more immediate things to worry about. Like my dissertation that is due in about 9 months. Nope, I don't want to think about that either. 

After I landed, I tried to stay up until a reasonable hour to sleep, but that didn't work out too well. I went to bed at noon and slept for about 18hrs. I thought maybe I had staved off the jet lag, but alas, I was wrong. It's 11:30 now and my internal clock definitely thinks its the wee hours of the morning. And I still have and hour and half before my next 2 hour class. Ah the life of an international traveler. And not the glamorous kind either. I'm also really cold. I generally prefer 60°F weather, but after four months of 80° weather, it's a bit chilly. Of course, I haven't really altered my dress. But that because of the Irish trend of keeping the heat on all year. So indoors its always hot. Constant removal and adding of layers. 

I wish I had more interesting things to tell you, but right now my life just consists of class and the not-to-distant exasperation of essay writing. 

Music for you: Boys Round Here: Blake Shelton 

oh and as a point of interest (not really) when i left class today the air smelled like spaghettios and cow manure.